Life... Now - 1/21/09

The ominous clouds
loom low above
our home
cracked solidly
down the center
bleeding - -
where there is no blood
damaged
beyond repair

the hushed whispers
loud enough
to be ascertained
just soft enough
to make for reach
Vietnam -
in my house
complete with psychological warfare
angry - ugly tactics
sure to injure
the innocent

malicious lies
told in darkened rooms
deceitful dregs
disrespecting memory
taking advantage
blaming wounds
how deeply the shots
penetrate teh iron will
of condescention
superior -
seemingly knowing
fact checking
under false niceties
and inappropiateness

goading reaction
which shall never come
as I have been trained
in this combat style
by the best
all those years
of POW camp
it finally comes in handy -
no reaction
no action
no emotion
recognizable to his eyes
only solid stability
safety
the high road
is mine to maintain
the lower down
he sinks

your kind gestures
no longer represent
love, but
bargaining and
manipulation
dealing your hurt
in a bluffer's hand

wistful winces
calculated concoctions
of what may appear
truthful
through teh fun time mirror
of your mind
you do me no favos
despite your claims
only wolf-style "help"
waiting to eat me alive

I once pitied
your sadness-
I anguished over
the unintentional pain
which has now
only served to fuel
my inattention
and paranoia
deep in the forest
that we once called home
I sit among the dense
trees and fog
seeking clarity
and meaning

the desperate spell
of complication
entangles my focus
and devours my sleep
leaving me incapable
of calm

tears well within my brain
incapable of freeing
themselves
unable to parachute out
only waiting
and maneuvering
hardening my sorrow
wishing my little boy
would seek refuge in my arms
not recognizing
the deft game
his daddy plays
a man scorned
bleeds black
on the face
of those once knowing

troubled...