Poem - 12/21/08

The wintry mix
of icy winds
whisper on the neck
chilling the core
precipitating
punishing warm thoughts
evacuating autumn
quickly hurrying him out over night

whirling frigid freeze
dominating down
breat in the womb
and out the comfort
unwilling to adjust
to the change

the inside
mimic that which happens
outside
a desperate yen
to maintain
the summer inside
unable to shift
sadly, stuck
in shorts and a teeshirt
despite the evident
drop in temperature

wilting like seasons
languishing,
barely holding on
no longer able
to pretend
that things haven't changed
we mourn
the loss of creation
the loss of a dream

Freud in America

The frivolous meandering of the creative
Mind
Trapped within the four walls
Of corporate insanity.
The unimaginable has happened…

Money replaces commitment and passion
Drive and ambition conquer love
The unimpossible moment-
Alone and choices need to be made;
Minimalistic nightmare.

Encroaching on a not so distant horizon
Approaching the inevitable end
Of the simple life
Crushing dreams, but replacing them
With different wants

The angelic soul of a dreamer.
Longs for the constant beauty,
That nature embodies…
The clean air that only the country can provide.

The validation of knowing the possible
Road less traveled
Returning back to a more fulfilling time:

Where chivalry and honor
Were still held in high regard
Knights and maidens in love
And living their land.
Money- only a fluid commodity.

The French revolution
Blanketed in passion
Longing for better treatment
And lives being risked for freedom.
An eternity in solitude for a possibility.

The crushing stagnation
Of 21st century America
The dull hum of cash exchange
No honor or glory
Menial 9 to 5 frustration

The inner child screams for satisfaction
Dies for the opportunity to perform.
Why does the world settle as such?
No possible mobility
Dream—reminders from a desktop wallpaper

Never cease dreaming…
It’s the only truly individual thing there is .

-Starr Sackstein

Variation on the same theme

Migrant thoughts
wander aimlessly
through night minds
seeing clearly through
the dark of sleep
dulcid sounds of breath
inescapable clam
for others
juxtaposed with the restlessness
which craves my company

vanish tired eyes
awaken
torment
teeming disbelief
absent crescendo
wonder why?
how?
not where the map
promised to end
alone in a bed
with three.

August 3, 2008

Disconnected digressions
meander mindlessly
through the quiet night
disrupting sleep
challenging calm

sleep is lingering
yet my heart races
my thoughts migrant
alive
awakened by possibility

the world around me
folding under
gurgling bubbles
of possibility linger
marriage indigestion
poisoned by the venom
of monogamy

crazed wants
balance of hope
torn between
desire and obligation
alone to choose
everything to lose
everything to lose

home as defined
by such
titles and labels
that can never define
but do

the self long ago
discovered
uncovered and embraced
after hiding for so long
in the fear of judgement

whisked back away
solitary
confined to the passion
embraced only
in quiet meditation
unsatisfied
by choices
that were never mine to make

troubled now
by the will
of others
responsibility
questioning only
to whom my loyalty
must lay
outward
or justice
for what feels right
in my soul

irreconcilable damage
could be done
if the truther uttered
my deepest demands
unable to be fulfilled
by current situation

change or be changed
grow or morph
embrace
which is outside
closing eyes
breathing inward
seeking answers
running out
of excuses...

What happens to democracy when ruined?

Does it go on parade
or decide just to fade

like a tan after summer
into winter's great grasp?

Does it encompass other worlds
like the U.S. Flag unfurled?

Do we make our mark
depsite fighting through the dark?

Does it force beliefs
on those who believe
that which is so unfamiliar
to each of us?

Does it take lives
like souless adulterous wives?

Who's to blame
when our country causes such
shame?

Who is held responsible?

Teaching Potential

The ridiculous musings
of an outspoken soul
hoping to plant
the bulbs of curiosity
firmly within
the consciousness
of young minds
who can conceivably
change our world
if they only want
if they only think

Allegory of Hall

Allegory of Hall

Shadows appear behind shades
In the movie-screen window
Reflecting disillusion
Like cave drawings
In Plato’s cave
Shackled to darkened memories
And jaded beliefs
Never seeing real light
Or trusting pristine beauty.

Below the sill,
In the night
At dusk
Beyond cover or freedom
Signs from above
Beckon and fall
Silently motioning
But only the mindless follow
Without question
Or doubt

Peeking behind curtains,
The philosopher king lay exposed
Naked before the shadow dwellers
Making known
What they will never accept

The blackboards project
Dusty non-learning
Begging for attention
And understanding
A relationship, which is never realized

The passing days
Of knowledge and guidance
Float by
All the while
Oars out to sea
And wonder paddles along side
“Do they get ‘it’?”
“Will they ever?”
The abstract “they”
Which the philosopher king never truly knows
Light is shed,
But the bait is never taken

Rambling through existence
Trembling passed
The insecurity and disbelief
The lack of understanding
The misgiving
Or the barren giving tree
Unable to assess
The damage already done.

Dedication means nothing.
It means nothing
To the shadows.
In here,
Beyond hope,
Without meaning,
Seemingly alone
In this crazy wilderness
Believing in them
When they don’t believe
In themselves-

Wanting to teach
Self-satisfaction
Comprehension of the light
Wisdom about the truth
Of the delusion
The truth…
Period.

The birth of sage-like qualities
Questioning and curiosity
Interest piqued
And growing
Developing the bravery
To ask why
And want to know
Learning
Utopia
Cornucopia of wealth
Out of the darkness
In front of the brightest light
Awareness-
The Holy Grail.

-Starr Sackstein

“Hydrant Philosophies” - circa 1998

“Hydrant Philosophies”

Women strutting in business
apparel; scurrying to an unmarked
destination of distant youth.

Dogs taking time to smell the roses
like no human can and redefining
the scent as they curiously slow down.

A moment of opportunity seizes me
overcome with city life and defective
thought, inspired by inescapable
literature. Trembling with shame
transforming. I see me 5 years ago-
unrecognizable.

Asserting myself, the voice of a shattered
lass speaks through my mouth
whispering wintry madness and lies-
I scream inside the canyon beyond my
ears- wishing desperately to be set free.

I wonder “where is Stephen?”
Creativity followed him everywhere
like a nervous tick. I latched on
for the wild ride, but alas, I fell
tumbling to the pavement when
we turned the corner.

My body quite jarred
by the whole experience. I process
and progress
to whatever adventures lye ahead.

The ebb of people brush back
against the edge of the sidewalk
as colors change and technology
is a tyrant to humanity.
“What hasn’t been done?”
Racking my brain-
convention has romanced me
and I am momentarily stunned
in its love. “Set yourself free”
“Set yourself free”- I’m talking and
I’m out there, physically eating the
shackles which locked me to insanity
for ever.

I turn inward, water unmistakably
condensing in my eye balls
feeling torn between comfort
and sobriety- subtlety-silently
engaging in dialogue with a young
me who I silenced long before I
knew she was right. Here I am
a product of every not so perfect
choice that perpetuated my myth
of perfection.

I ramble and rage with burning
emptiness - dying to be filled with
faith self-worth and reliance- knowing
that I can lean without falling-
stand without you- a future
promised never to exist- spawned
from unknowledge- sex with
the most intimate stranger of all-
myself- unrecognizable
in the mirror
which feign the unreal.
I know that I no longer can romp
in the Garden.
But do I even want to?

Spring has been conceived
and the life that once was
mortal and finding its resting
place among new thoughts
and Platonic fantasies of myself,
The Philosopher King
or the president void of conspiracy;
smile in one and a deceit in a bag
of gags. I know the world
of manifestation. Call her Aphrodite,
but wedded strangely enough with --
with Dionysus? Can that be a truth?

My leafs turn with anger as my hand
composes classical wrath and fury
silenced by knowing and invoked
by ignorance; a life too ordinary
not to stand out. I turn myself
outward again to observe as I
crawl back into the womb of the city
dark and yet filled with understanding.
-too black for shadows
only enlightenment

My 26 mile run of inspiration
feels infinite this morning
despite responsibility beckoning
my presence. The ideas must be awakened
perhaps kissed by a frog
who knows tomorrow’s wisdom
only I have no desire to learn
‘till tomorrow.

Do I blink? Stutter? Laugh uneasily
with maniacal remembrance? Cry
yet another acid tear tearing my
emotions into a ragdoll of faithless
envy? What? Who do I turn to when
what worked before doesn’t make the
cut anymore? Am I not human?

Once professing brilliance
I confess my severe lack
of crude revelation
cruel knowledge
emptied from books
and into my wonderful world of Oz-
where all men hide behind curtains
and dreams go unidentifiable.

Perceiving purple as an idea.
Rummaging through the unconscious
looking through the stage curtains
to the audience- performing my crisis
into an unreasonable drama-
living so much of life
in a melodramatic nightmare
at times, but such bliss
in even those moments-
Divinity
I bleed divinity.

Pushing the loose sand
off the top of my courage
awaking to Constance
consistency-stability
I don’t believe that’s my path either.

Caressing a tired me
somehow out of body
separate personalities- duality
I observe me like a distant lover
critical and shy to approach
the quintessential you,
but it’s me.

Do I measure up to the facade
created by the unnamable me?
To understand me?
For me?
A foreigner to the reflection
mirrored in the pond
stagnant and untrusting.

Moving into the flow of action
on the street, I contemplate
Marx, Aristotle and Freud
Government and gender-
I don’t know that these things
make me a better person,
it just complicates my simplicity
and destroys my idealism,
cynicism prevails
and I learn my greatest lessons
from experience not conventional knowledge